Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
