I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
love makes seman taste better
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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