So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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