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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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