I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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