I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
