just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
