you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
