On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
