I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
