Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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