I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
