my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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