Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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