My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
