I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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