how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
