Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
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