i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Someone came in the potted fern
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
