5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize