I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
