Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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