More tranny stories later!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
