He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
