Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
