Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
