4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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