man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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