the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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