Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize