ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
