Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
