if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize