The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
