My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
