true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
