when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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