K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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