Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
