i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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