your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
