I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
