PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
