That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
