dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
