My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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