Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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