i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
