Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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