Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
