Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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