she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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