i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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