that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
lets start a swedish sibling band together
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize