I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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