Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so explain again why im purple
no
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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