What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize