? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
