what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
