Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
