Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
NoShamevember. You game?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
