he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
