I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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