i love accidental penises.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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