I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I would ride that face into the sunset
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
