Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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