quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize