I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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