So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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