Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
